


Third Life

by kg1507



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Crisis on Infinite Earths Crossover Event (CW DC TV Universe), Gen, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor-centric, One Shot, Other, POV Lena Luthor, Post-Crisis on Infinite Earths Crossover Event (CW DC TV Universe), SuperCorp, Supergirl (TV 2015) Season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:55:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22299664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kg1507/pseuds/kg1507
Summary: *POST-CRISIS SPOILERS*Lena remembers everything from before... But which life was real and which one was a lie?
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor
Kudos: 34





	Third Life

It was a normal morning. The sun was bright and warm, casting its golden glow on Lena's skin, the soft sounds of morning city traffic just barely audible from her penthouse high in the sky. She had languidly stretched her limbs and rolled onto her back, sighing softly as consciousness drew nearer and a new day began. There was a slight smile on her face - she'd been dreaming. It had been the kind of dream that left you feeling cozy and well-rested, like everything was right in the world. The smile had widened, the line between waking and sleep growing thinner and thinner with each passing second, and her last drowsy, unconscious, not-quite-thought was how happy she was right now, in this moment.

Lena opened her eyes... and the dream became a nightmare. The sun on her skin turned to ice as her world shattered like broken glass, and she plummeted down, down, down, falling without end.

It had been a normal, average, beautiful morning, until it wasn't.

* * *

Lena clutched the edge of the toilet seat, heaving bile into the basin. Her face was damp with sweat and hair stuck to her face in long, messy strands. Both the faucet and shower were running - the sound of water had always calmed her in the past, but all the waterfalls in the world couldn't quell her panic this time. She threw up twice more until there was nothing left and her stomach was sore, and then turned to rest her forehead on the edge of the tub. She felt unbearably hot and flushed, and the coolness of the porcelain against her skin helped. She breathed heavily through her mouth, squeezing her eyes shut as memories flooded her brain.

_ Lena's mother twirling Lena in a dizzying circle, laughing and playing until the sun sets behind them.  _ Lena's mother driving away as Lena tearfully runs after her, teddy bear in hand as her father scoops her flailing body into his arms.

_ Lillian shutting Lena out, ignoring her cries at night for her mommy and hating the evidence of her husband's unfaithfulness.  _ Lillian letting Lena crawl into bed with her when the nightmares are too scary, feeling tenderness for the little girl who has so quickly captured her heart despite the fact that they share no blood. 

_ Lex teasing, mocking, dismissing her and her brilliant mind, telling her she's nothing _ _ compared to him and never will be.  _ Lex helping her with science fair projects, college theses, making her a 50/50 partner at LuthorCorp, telling her the company could never flourish without her running it beside him.

_ Lex revealing Kara's secret, exposing the truth in the most painful way possible, destroying her with one click of a button.  _ Kara telling Lena her secret, eight months after they first met, Lena hugging a sobbing Kara as she reassures her that their friendship has not been destroyed, thanking her for her honesty and trust.

The memories keep coming, one contradiction after another, two lives that are both true and not true. Her head aches with the influx of information and she moans in pain. She needs to lay down, the room has started to spin, and she tries not to dry heave as her head meets the tile floor. The heat has left Lena's body - now she shakes with vicious chills, goosebumps erupt up and down her flesh and her teeth chatter as shock sets in. She gropes in front of her, batting at the towel rack until she manages to grab one fluffy, full-length towel, draping it over her like a blanket.

She remembers everything from before. Every loss, every betrayal, every ounce of pain that made up so much of that life. She remembers the joys that came so sparingly and left too fleetingly, a hand clenched tight on a fist of sand that ran through her fingers until nothing was left.

But she remembers this, too - a life that had pain, yes, but so much joy as well. A family, a world that loved Luthor's, friends who trusted her, there had been a life that was whole, complete, not perfect, but who can say theirs is? As far as she was concerned, this was as close as one got to perfection.

But which one of these two lives was real? Lena felt the distinct certainty of both sets of memories, each life painting a vivid picture in her mind that could not be swayed. It felt like she was one piece away from finishing a puzzle, but she had two pieces left - and both of them would fit the blank space.

Lena cried then, because she knew deep down in the very fibers of her being that it didn't matter which life had been real or even if both of them were real. All that mattered was that the life she had known up until half an hour ago was gone, and she would never get that back again. She'd had one life filled with pain, and one life filled with joy, more joy than she could've ever imagined herself feeling in a hundred lives.

Lena closed her eyes and tears rolled across the bridge of her nose, puddling underneath her cheek. Today marked the start of her third life, and whatever happened next, nothing would ever be the same.


End file.
